Help Me Choose My Novel’s Back Text

~ Kristina Stanley

My latest mystery novel, LOOK THE OTHER WAY, is written. My trustworthy beta readers have sent me their comments, and I’ve updated the novel. Each beta reader provided different input on the story, and each person helped me make it better.

So why not ask my beta readers for help with the book description? They’ve read the book and will know if the description is accurate. So ask, I did. After receiving feedback from 5 people, my two favorite versions are below.

Please vote on your favorite. Which description would entice you to read LOOK THE OTHER WAY?

OPTION A:

Bobby Hall’s body washes up in the surf on a remote Bahamian island. His death is declared accidental. His grieving wife, Debi, hires Captain Jake Hunter, a former cop fleeing personal trauma, to sail with her on A Dog’s Cat and retrace Bobby’s final weeks at sea.

Shannon Payne is fired from the job she loves. Her engagement ends in disaster, and she no longer trusts her judgment of men. Giving up the life she knows as a reporter, she joins her aunt on A Dog’s Cat. The tranquility of life on a sailboat is what she needs. A tumultuous journey with the handsome captain is what she gets.

As tensions heighten on board, so does the attraction growing between Jake and Shannon. When Shannon learns a shocking truth about her childhood, a truth that might mean Bobby was murdered, the only thing clearer than the crystalline waters of the Bahamian archipelago is that someone is not telling the whole truth and hasn’t for a long time.

OPTION B:

A year after her uncle is lost at sea, Shannon Payne joins her grieving aunt on a journey through the idyllic Bahamian islands. She needs to recover from a devastating breakup with her fiancé. And sailing the turquoise waters, tracing her uncle’s route as a tribute to him, may just repair her heart. But instead of tranquility, she uncovers dark secrets from her past that may destroy any chance she has at happiness.

Captain Jake Hunter joins the duo on the thirty-eight-foot catamaran, A Dog’s Cat. He’s running away from painful memories. He dreams of escaping his life as a cop but finds himself embroiled in an investigation. He’s sworn off women, and now he’s living in close quarters with his boss’s niece, a blue-eyed beauty he can’t resist but should. Could his life get any more turbulent?

Shannon and Jake suppress the attraction they feel for each other, Bobby’s mysterious death hangs over them, and someone out there doesn’t want the truth uncovered.

 

I sailed on Mattina, a 38-foot catamaran, for five years in the Bahamas. She’s the sailing vessel used in LOOK THE OTHER WAY, and this is her, one beautiful day in the Exuma Islands.

Mattina sailing

 

Thanks for voting! Comments are most welcome.

 

23 thoughts on “Help Me Choose My Novel’s Back Text”

  3. Kristina, my preference is for the second back cover because of the romance element right away in paragraph one.
    I did find though that paragraph 3 needs clarification in that the character Bobby suddenly pops up out of nowhere. I think you either could give his full name and/or how Bobby is linked to Shannon and Jake. Something like Shannon’s childhood friend.
    I finished reading Blaze and will shortly leave a review on Amazon and Goodreads. It was a lot of fun and in reading it I was able to see how you applied the advice you posted on your blog about hooking the reader at the beginning of each scene.
    Good luck with this new book. 🙂

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    1. Carol, thank you for your thoughtful advice. Good point about Bobby. I hope others put their comments in too, so I can make the blurb awesome. And a BIG thank you for your comments are Blaze and doing reviews. You know I appreciate that.

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  4. # 2. Number one is way too wordy and tells too much. The back flap should be a tease. The second choice does it better although I would edit it down even more. It sounds like a good read.

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  7. What genre are you primarily marketing this as? #1 in stronger as a mystery (but may introduce too many characters) #2 is stronger if you are trying to appeal most to romance fans.

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    1. Thank you, Robin. I love the photo too. Next step is to finish the text, then I have to do a final proofread, then I have to submit it…and on and on it goes. So I guess, I have to say you have to wait 🙂

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  10. HI Kristina, exciting!! And definitely Option B. I had to re-read Option A twice to get the gist as too many names: Debi (who isnt really important in this small space of copy), Bobby, Shannon, and Jake. Too many to keep straight for the back cover. Option B only has the 2 main characters: Jack and Shannon – and so we can focus on that story. Just my 2 cents!

    EXCEPT: You mention Bobby in the last sentence of Option B and he was never mentioned before so we dont know who he is – just that there’s a grieving aunt. “Shannon and Jake suppress the attraction they feel for each other, Bobby’s mysterious death hangs over them, and someone out there doesn’t want the truth uncovered.”

    I WOULD CHANGE TO: Shannon and Jake suppress the attraction they feel for each other, but her uncle’s mysterious death hangs over them, and someone out there doesn’t want the truth uncovered.

    Keep it simple: the two main characters.
    Hope that helps!

    Liked by 1 person

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