Farley’s Friday: A Wheaten Can Listen Well (Audrey Jessup Crime Writing Award)

Farley here,

I’ve had a weird week.

Kristina talked for days on end and it took me a while to figure out what she was doing. First I thought she was talking to me, and I felt pretty flattered to get so much attention.

Then I realized she was focussed on something else entirely. And look what she made me wear.

Farley in Hat

“Take this hat off my head,” I bark.

“You’re my audience,” Kristina says.

“Audience for what?” I bark.

“I have to read aloud at the Audrey Jessup awards, and I need to practice.”

“Yeah, but why do have to wear a hat?”

“Because I’m pretending you’re sitting in a bar listing to me read my story.”

Okay, I get it. She’s nervous and wants to practice. She keeps mumbling something about the 10,000 hour theory and the more you do something to better you get at it.

So the night of the awards, she comes home all happy and dances around the living room. She won 🙂

Kristina Stanley Audrey Jessup

Now I just wag my tail. I’ll let her read to me anytime if it helps.

Woof Woof.

Capital Crime Writers

 

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Why Did I Ever Watch Jaws?

Is there a movie you wish you’d never seen?

Mine is Jaws. Even though I watched the scary movie a long time ago, the dreaded music sounds off in my head – and you know the music I am talking about – as soon as I swim laps. I like to watch a scary movie, something like Aliens works for me. I know I’ll never have to face an alien the way Sigourney Weaver did – at least I hope I won’t. But sharks? I’m in the ocean most days. I love to swim laps, but I’ve yet to make it through a session without thinking of Jaws.

Below are two dolphins swimming along my favourite beach for laps. A mom swimming with her young one. A lovely sight. An amazing opportunity to swim in the wild with a wild animal.  A big grey creature, but not the kind to be afraid of.

Dolphins at Sand Dollar

My only close up and personal encounter with a shark happened while I was kayaking. Unlucky for me, I got between a shark and its lunch. The annoyed shark bumped the side of my kayak. A good message to tell me to get away from the buffet. All the food was spoken for. Was I scared – yup. Did I go right back to the same spot the next day – yup. Somehow I feel safe in the kayak, but not while I’m swimming.

Someone please turn off the Jaws music so I can swim in peace.

Thanks for reading . . .

Farley’s Friday: A Dog’s BFF or FFL?

Farley here,

Now I’d say I’m not a dog that’s good with words. I do better with hand signals, but I want a new term for BFF.

How can a dog have only one BFF? I have so many friends.

For instance, here’s my pal Tico. He loves to go snorkelling with his human, Dan. He’s a little too adventurous for me. I like to watch from shore.

Dan and Tico

“Don’t you know there are sharks in there?” I bark.

Tico swims farther out.

“What if Dan spears a fish and a shark arrives?” I bark.

Tico must have his ears turned off, because he’s not listening to me.

“TICO,” I howl my loudest.

Farley barking from shore

You can imagine me, barking from shore, my front paws lifting off the ground, water splashing around me. I glance at Kristina, but she just laughs. All she does is laugh when I think I’m being serious and she thinks I look silly.

Finally Tico gets a little too close to Dan, hits the flipper with his nose, startles himself and turns back to the beach.

He’s safe and I can relax.

Now back to my new term. FFL. Friend For Life. That means I can have more than one. Best does imply one, and who can have only one friend?

I’m adding Tico to my FFL list.

Woof Woof.

The Moon, The Tide, The Weather: Workout Schedule

Keeping fit is a challenge, and sometimes nature dictates the schedule. While living in the islands, the moon, tide and weather all tell me when and how I can exercise.

On a full moon, with a high tide, the beach will be soft and make running, let’s say, unpleasant. The sand forces ankles and knees into odd angles.

With  no moon and high tide, the beach might be in better condition, so it’s worth a try.

No moon, low tide is the best time to run. The tide is out, the beach is wide and hard. Running barefoot is fantastic.

Beach running

If I can’t run, I like to swim laps.

Sunny days are best. I like to see what’s in the water around me and cloudy days make that difficult. I’ll admit I might be a little afraid of sharks. I figure if they can see me, they won’t be interested in me. If the water is dark or murky, a shark might mistake me for lunch. Wind and current also affect when I can swim. Too much of either, and it’s not longer fun.

Shark

If I can’t swim laps, I like to kayak.

Wind and current dictate when and where I can go. The height of the tide doesn’t really matter, and I don’t usually kayak at night (although I have and a full moon makes this fun), so the moon doesn’t often come into play.

Kayaking

If I can’t kayak, then I like to do beach yoga.

High tide makes the beach wet, so not a good time. Too much sun and it’s too hot. Clouds are good for this activity.

Beach Yoga

If I can’t do any of these, I sulk. Just kidding. I can always read, write, blog, walk the dog, or hang with friends. The only activity Farley, my soft-coated wheaten terrier, can’t do with me is swim laps. He does an awesome downward dog.

Happy New Year 🙂

Thanks for reading . . .

Farley’s Friday: Can Dogs go Tubing?

Farley Here,

I’m the kind of dog who likes to be included in every activity.

It’s summer. We’re in Canada at the Lake. There’s a boat. There’s a tube. There’s flat water.

I know what’s coming.

“Can I go? Can I go? Can I go?” I bark.

Kristina rolls her eyes at me. Yes, she actually rolls her eyes. I take that to mean my question is so silly it doesn’t warrant an answer.

But I’m too smart for her, and I jump before she can get me.

Farley Tubing

One of my humans, Oliver, doesn’t seem to mind sharing the tube with me, but here comes Kristina.

I’m thinking, boo hoo, it’s back to the dock for me, but she surprises me and lets me come in the boat for the adventure.

At least I get to howl at the kids with they fly behind the boat.

Humans are silly and they do silly things.

Woof Woof.

 

Farley’s Friday: Can a dog be a lifeguard?

Farley here.

I’m at the lake this week. That’s a cottage for eastern Canadians and a cabin for western Canadians, but to a dog it’s a place on the water.

Now humans are strange. They like to run, scream and jump off the end of the dock. See my concerned look?
Farley looking concerned

How am I not supposed to be excited about this? My humans tell me not to bark as they jump in.

Well, duh. Don’t they understand they can’t breathe under the water? I need to tell them.

“Stop,” I bark.

“Don’t jump,” I bark.

“No barking,” Kristina says and then like a crazy woman, she jumps in.

Well pardon me for caring. I chase her. And look what happens.

Farley Falling in Water

I don’t like swimming. Let me stress, “I DON’T LIKE SWIMMING.”

And yet, here I am chasing my humans. Kids, adults, they’re all nuts.

The things I do for love.

Woof Woof!