I think so. #writetip I discovered one way to do this while I was proofreading the German Version of my novel, Fracture Line.
My character enters a scene and says two short sentences. Both are five words long. The only punctuation is a period after each sentence.
The translation turned the two sentences into one connecting them with and. It’s only one more word, but it changes the from two simple sentences to a compound sentence.
When I read the translation I realized the longer sentence was slowing my character. I wanted her to rush in and blurt out her news, not take her time to be articulate.
The German sentence sounded more eloquent, but it didn’t give the impression I wanted.
Do you have other ways to give the impression your character is in a hurry?
- Make Your Dialogue Work For You (crimsonromanceauthors.com)
- How to Write Dialogue in Three Easy Steps (girlnone.com)
- A Little Grammar Please: (alvindavis99.wordpress.com)