Nine years ago today, I started taking care of Kristina and Mathew. They had a lot to learn.
Look how cute they were that first day! I look a little shocked, but I got the hang of taking care of humans (meaning getting them to do what I want) pretty quickly.
First, make sure your human knows when to feed you. Pawing at the bowl and banging it against the wall is a great training technique. This works for the water bowl, too.
Then, make sure they put your crate or bed in their bedroom. This is easy too. Practice your best sad cry at 3 am. Don’t stop until crate/bed is moved beside your human. It only took me a year to move from the crate to their bed.
Humans don’t like it if you pee inside the house, so run to the door and prance in circles. A little woof will get their attention. If they’re not understanding you, squat but don’t pee yet. They’ll run from wherever they are and open the door.
Most importantly, we dogs need a lot of love. To get invited onto a lap, sit at a humans feet, gently place you head on their foot, and give them your best loving eyes. Nudge their hand. Give a a little kiss – not too much because slobber is not appreciated. Before you know it, the human will pick you up and snuggle with you on their lap.
That’s the basics of training a human. Good luck!