Write Better Fiction: Characters Mentioned In A Scene

Feedback iconToday on Write Better Fiction we’ll cover the Characters Mentioned in a Scene. Write Better Fiction is a process to help you critique your own manuscript and give yourself feedback. This will help you improve your novel, so you’re ready to submit it to an editor. Check the bottom of this post for links to previous Write Better Fiction articles.

Sometimes a character does not have a role in a scene but is referred to by another character. This could be in dialogue, thought, dream, an eMail or phone conversation.

Why would you do this?

  • To remind the reader of a character if you haven’t written about them for a few scenes or chapters
  • To show the character through the eyes of an other character
  • To foreshadow an event that will affect the character
  • To give the reader a clue or red herring
  • To show the POV character’s goal, personality trait, or attitude
  • To keep the antagonist in the readers mind if the antagonist doesn’t have any POV scenes.

This is a column that I fill out when I review each scene. Once the spreadsheet is complete review the column and plot how often characters are referred to. This is similar to a first character appearance diagram.

Once I’ve finished, I review the column for each character. I’m looking for:

  • Big blocks of time where a character disappears
  • Sections where a character is mentioned repeatedly but then not for a while
  • Mentioning an unimportant character too often

Your challenge this week is fill out this column with the characters mentioned.  Then review you major characters and see how often they are mentioned. Too often? Too Little? Too much time passed between being in a scene or being mentioned?

I critiqued DESCENT and BLAZE using the techniques I’m sharing in Write Better Fiction, and I believe this helped me sign with a publisher.

Please me know in the comments below if you found this exercise challenging. Did it help you improve your character arcs?

Thanks for reading…

Other blogs on the topic…

Write Better Fiction: A Character Enters A Scene

Write Better Fiction: Characters in a Scene – too few/too many?

Write Better Fiction: #1 Question To Ask About Characters In A Scene.

Mystery Mondays: Kathleen Duhamel with An Unconventional Approach to Romance

Pageflex Persona [document: PRS0000040_00070]Kathleen Duhamel and I have a special connection. We both signed with Imajin Books for the publication of our first novels last summer.

Kathleen’s second book, DEEPER, is set to be released this spring. Her first book, DEEP BLUE, explores the theme Love Is the Most Addictive Drug of All. 

Read to the end and you’ll find a surprise for Kathleen’s launch party.

So let’s hear what Kathleen has to say about romance…

Going Deeper: Kathleen Duhamel’s Unconventional Approach to Romance (by Kathleen Duhamel)

I’m a contemporary romance writer, author of Deep Blue and Deeper (Books One and Two in the Deep Blue Trilogy) so what am I doing on Monday Mystery? The truth is my books aren’t conventional romances. When I began developing Deep Blue, I deliberately set out to write a love story that wasn’t typical in any way (except my characters do have mind-blowing sex). I wanted to weave a tale that combined romance with suspenseful elements, a book that read more like a thriller than a Harlequin novel. You’ll have to judge for yourself whether I’ve succeeded.

No shrinking violets

When we’re first introduced to Claire Martin, she’s a 58-year-old struggling landscape painter and cancer-survivor who’s all but given up on finding love again at her age. She’s also fiercely independent. After she meets Robert Silver and gets swept up into his overblown celebrity life, she refuses his gifts of a new car and money to pay off her debt to a loathesome ex-husband, because she doesn’t want to be pegged as a gold-digger. It was crucial to the book’s plot and her character that Claire find a solution to her problems without having to be rescued by a man. (Although Rob was more than willing to be her rescuer.)

Similarly, her BFF and single mother Denise Hrivnak searches for a way to plan her financial future, with or without a boyfriend in the picture. In her mind, having a man in her life is a luxury, not a necessity. She will find a way to make her dream a reality, maybe at the expense of having a personal life.

Men who truly love women

In many of the romance novels I’ve read, the alpha male is an arrogant, sometimes cruel jerk who is ultimately redeemed by the love of a good woman. I’m not saying this could never happen, but it’s highly unlikely in reality. In Deep Blue, Rob is a rock star idolized by millions of fans, but he’s also a 62-year-old lonely soul, still grieving the death of his wife three years earlier. He has issues (panic attacks, stage fright and a history of substance abuse), yet he never bullies or disrespects Claire because he genuinely loves her, and he’s a lot more needy than he lets on. By the end of Book One, Claire has rescued him.

Interesting flaws make memorable characters

No one gets to be 50 or 60 years old without accumulating some emotional baggage that affects every aspect of life, and my characters all reflect this idea. I’ve already mentioned Rob’s various problems, including his ongoing struggle with sobriety. His musical partner, Artie Hoffman, has his own set of issues. He’s an impoverished foster child turned millionaire rock guitarist, lauded as a genius, with a train wreck relationship history. Artie hides his softer side under a cloak of sarcasm so he never has to let anyone get too close. Fame has made him distrustful of almost everyone.

Even though they’re older, these characters retain their youthful personalities. Claire says she’s still surprised to look in her mirror and see someone old enough to be a grandmother, when she feels so young.

Inside, we all remain the best younger version of ourselves, despite our outward appearance. And our desire for love, sex and companionship does not diminish. As Rob tells Claire, “We can’t help getting older, but we don’t have to get old.”

Deeper (Book Two of the Deep Blue Trilogy) picks up where Deep Blue left off, but it also works a stand-alone novel. The band Deep Blue plans its future, while Claire and Rob’s relationship is rocked by an unexpected development that threatens to rip his family apart. Meanwhile, Denise and Artie embark on a somewhat humorous, prickly relationship of their own. Deeper probes into the psychology of these characters while combining elements of suspense, drama and hot romance.

Pre-orders are available now on Amazon, and the book comes out March 20. I’m having a book launch party on Facebook, March 20, 7 p.m. to 9 p.m. Eastern Time. You can find me on Facebook. Message me or email me at kathleenduhamel@gmail.com if you’d like to attend. My friend Kristina will be giving away a copy of Blaze! (Surprise 🙂 )

Kathleen’s Bio:

kathleen-duhamel  croppedKathleen Duhamel wrote and illustrated her first short story at the age of eight, and has never stopped writing. Her love of the written word continued throughout her varied career as a newspaper journalist and editor, public relations executive, freelance travel writer and owner/operator of two small businesses. A native of Texas, she spent most of her adult life in Colorado before relocating to Virginia in 2014, where she lives with her husband, a standard poodle and a geriatric cat. She is a lifelong devotee of rock and soul music, contemporary art and pop culture. https://kathleenduhamel.wordpress.com/

Thanks for reading…

 

 

 

Reblog: Love mystery, romance & thrillers? Get 4 great books for free!

TODAY IS THE FINAL DAY OF IMAJIN BOOKS SALE:

Reblogged from Donna Galanti:

This week my publisher, Imajin Books, has put four great books up for free on Kindle, including A HUMAN ELEMENT! Like mystery, romance and thrills? Then check them all out and load up on reading! ENDS TODAY.

FreeEbooks

PLUS, for a limited time somewhere in each of these books is a hidden “Easter Egg,” a link to 3 FREE novellas by 3 bestselling authors. Happy reading and hunting!

Easter-Eggs-1

If you haven’t had a chance to read A HUMAN ELEMENT grab this now while you can…..

Too read the rest… DONNA GALANTI

Farley’s Friday: SQUIRREL!

Farley here,

Look what Kristina did to me now. I’m thinking she can read my mind, just by the way I’m giving her my big brown-eyed, I’m-the-most-pathetic-dog-ever stare and she gets I don’t want to wear boots pulled up like socks.

Farley Boots

“What are you thinking?” I bark.

Kristina scratches my ear. “There’s a ton of snow and it’s warm. You know what that means…Remember what happened the other day?”

I do remember. Kristina spent an hour getting snow clumps off my fur. I loved it. But, alas, I wag my tail and give in. Let’s just get out the door.

We hit the trails. I’m running as fast as I can in these silly boots, when I hear the tell-tale squeak of a squirrel. I glance to my left.

There it is! Without thinking I bound through the snow.

Farley Squrrel

I chase and I chase, but I just can’t get him. He’s too fast.

Then guess what happens. My boot comes off. Oops.

Do you see how deep the snow is? Kristina didn’t wear snowshoes today, and she had to climb through deep powder to get my boot.

“Don’t come in here,” I bark. “You’ll never find it.”

She laughs and me, gets down on her hands and knees and crawls across the snow. She must really want my boot.

After a little digging, she actually finds it.

“Ta da,” she says.

Boo, I think. Then I jump on her and lick her face. I love to play and what’s better than playing with my human in the snow? Not much, really.

In case you hadn’t heard, Kristina’s first novel is on sale, but only until tomorrow. She’s very proud of DESCENT, so if you haven’t read it, now’s your chance to get the eBook free.

Woof Woof

If You Need Mystery, Romance or Horror: The Choice is Yours for Free eBooks

Imajin Books presents: A GIFT TO READERS. With more gifts inside the books.

FOUR books here, and three more novellas inside the book. All you have to do is read one book to get three novellas free.

FreeEbooks

 

You can find the books on Amazon at:

DESCENT

A HUMAN ELEMENT

DEEP BLUE

SAFE HARBOR

Happy reading to all!

 

Romance, Horror, Mystery Novels All Free

Yup. You read that correctly. Four free eBooks and three genres. But not for long.

Each of these books comes with a special surprise. Somewhere in each of the books is a hidden “Easter Egg,” a bold text link to 3 FREE Qwickie novellas by 3 bestselling authors. This is a time limited offer, so happy reading and hunting!

Don’t delay. Start reading a book published by Imajin Books today or you might miss out on both deals. Just click on the books covers to get your copy.

But first, thank you, thank you, thank you for all the shares yesterday. That just makes me feel loved, and speaking of love…

Screen Shot 2016-03-01 at 4.34.30 PMPerhaps you need some LOVE in your life?

Try DEEP BLUE by Kathleen Duhamel because love is the most addicting drug of all…

Barely-not-starving” Denver artist and cancer survivor Claire Martin has almost given up finding an older man with a youthful spirit when she meets charismatic New York soul singer Robert Silver of the legendary band Deep Blue. She soon learns that hero worship can be dangerous, especially when the object of her desire comes with a disturbing past.

 

Feel like being FRIGHTENED?

Experience A HUMAN ELEMENT by Donna Galanti because evil comes in many forms…

Screen Shot 2016-03-01 at 4.40.30 PMOne by one, Laura Armstrong’s friends and adoptive family members are being murdered, and despite her unique healing powers, she can do nothing to stop it. The savage killer haunts her dreams, tormenting her with the promise that she is next. Determined to find the killer, she follows her visions to the site of a crashed meteorite in her hometown. There, she meets Ben Fieldstone, who seeks answers about his parents’ death the night the meteorite struck. In a race to stop a madman, they unravel a frightening secret that binds them together. But the killer’s desire to destroy Laura face-to-face leads to a showdown that puts Laura and Ben’s emotional relationship and Laura’s pure spirit to the test. With the killer closing in, Laura discovers her destiny is linked to his, and she has two choices—redeem him or kill him.

Is an ADRENALINE RUSH what you require?

Join me on the icy slopes of DESCENT because jealousy, secrets and betrayal are enough to drive even a sane to murder…

Featured Image -- 57878When Kalin Thompson is promoted to Director of Security at Stone Mountain Resort, she soon becomes entangled in the high-profile murder investigation of an up-and-coming Olympic-caliber skier. There are more suspects with motives than there are gates on the super-G course, and danger mounts with every turn.

Kalin’s boss orders her to investigate. Her boyfriend wants her to stay safe and let the cops do their job. Torn between loyalty to friends and professional duty, Kalin must look within her isolated community to unearth the killer’s identity.

 

Do you know what you would do to PROECT YOUR FAMILY?

Find out in SAFE HARBOR  by Rosemary McCracken because family is everything…

Screen Shot 2016-03-01 at 5.24.36 PMFinancial advisor Pat Tierney’s world is shattered when a visitor to her office tells her that Pat’s late husband is the father of a seven-year-old boy. Stunned by the revelation of her husband’s affair, Pat is even more shocked when the woman bolts from the office, leaving young Tommy behind.

When Tommy’s mother is murdered, police tell Pat that the boy may be the killer’s next target. In a desperate race to protect Tommy, Pat searches for the truth and uncovers a deadly scheme involving illegal immigrants, trafficking in human body parts and money laundering.

And Pat discovers that she’ll do just about anything to keep her family safe.

Murder, Revenge, Jealousy – DESCENT Free

Got you tempted? 

Please share this post and help me spread the word 🙂

DescentCoverIn celebration of my upcoming release of AVALANCHE by Imajin Books, the eBook edition of DESCENT is FREE on Amazon starting today, but only for 5 days. 

WHAT IS DESCENT ABOUT?

When Kalin Thompson is promoted to Director of Security at Stone Mountain Resort, she soon becomes entangled in the high-profile murder investigation of an up-and-coming Olympic-caliber skier. There are more suspects with motives than there are gates on the super-G course, and danger mounts with every turn.

Kalin’s boss orders her to investigate. Her boyfriend wants her to stay safe and let the cops do their job. Torn between loyalty to friends and professional duty, Kalin must look within her isolated community to unearth the killer’s identity. 

WHY DO YOU WANT TO READ DESCENT?

Early Praise For Descent

“In this impressive debut, Kristina Stanley weaves a vivid, chilling tale of jealousy, secrets, and betrayal in a close-knit mountain ski village. Like its likeable young heroine, Kalin Thompson, DESCENT is both tender and tough.” – Barbara Fradkin: author of the Inspector Green Mysteries and two-time winner of the Arthur Ellis Award for Best Novel.

“Murder rocks the competitive ski world in Stanley’s layered tale with enough suspects to keep readers guessing until the last chilling chapter.” Brenda Chapman: Brenda Chapman: Author of the Stonechild and Rouleau Mysteries.

“From the first line, you’re strapped into a Stanley novel. Just turn the page, hang on, and enjoy the ride.” – Garry Ryan: award winning author of the Detective Lane mysteries and Blackbird trilogy.

“Descent is the first in a series of Stone Mountain mysteries. It’s an action packed story. Testosterone, stress, dangerous corners and pain lead to murder on the slopes of this remote ski resort. Kalin Thompson, head of security is ordered to investigate by her boss. A growing list of suspects leads Kalin to wonder if the dead Olympic calibre skier got what he deserved.  Descent, a mystery that keeps you riding the lift for one last read and the killer’s identity.” –Don Graves:  Canadian Mystery Reviews

CALL TO ACTION – PRETTY PLEASE…

To all my loyal supporters, this is a call to action. Help me share DESCENT with others by sharing this post.

 Thank You in advance for a little help today 🙂

Mystery Mondays: Ann Farnsworth on How To Write A High Concept Thriller

The Throne of David coverAs usually Mystery Mondays continues to be a source of inspiration and and knowledge for me. Today we have Ann Farnsworth, author of THE THRONE OF DAVID.

HOW TO WRITE A HIGH CONCEPT THRILLER by Ann Farnsworth.

I found the idea for my book The Throne of David while reading the Old Testament and knew it was a high concept idea from the very first. Understanding the scope of the story helped me stay very focused as I wrote the manuscript and when I sent out queries, (two of them). Both agents wanted the book and I am convinced it was the high concept element that got their attention. So, I can hear you asking, just what is high concept and how do I incorporate these ingredients into my writing?

High concept fiction is a term hijacked from Hollywood. Think ‘visual’, ‘high stakes’, and ‘easily communicated’. It is attractive to publishers and agents and eventually, readers and moviegoers.

The reaction you want when an agent reads your synopsis is: “Why didn’t I think of that?” or “Why hasn’t somebody written about this before?” Or, “You tell me your amazing idea, and then I decide I have to kill you so I can steal it!” When people light up after you tell them about your book, you know you’ve got them. This is what high concept is all about.

The essential elements of a high concept book are:

  • an original idea
  • mass commercial appeal
  • a great title
  • a big problem

An original idea:

You need an idea that will be talked about. One that generates excitement and compels people (agents, publishers and readers) to get involved. Simply put, a high concept is an intriguing idea that can be stated in a few words and is easily understood by all. Take this sentence: An asteroid the size of Texas is speeding toward earth. This sentence is definitely high concept! It arouses an emotional response, and, using only ten words, tells us exactly what the book/movie is all about. It hooks us immediately.

THE THRONE OF DAVID is a historical thriller along the lines of DaVinci Code or Raiders of the Lost Ark involving a religious artifact, murder most foul and a mystery surrounding the king of England. I thought about contacting Dan Brown with the idea that became THE THRONE OF DAVID, but I finally decided to figure out how to write it myself. It was a little daunting to write such a towering book for a first novel but writing it became an adventure and I loved figuring out how to write around the bones of a compelling story.

Being able to reduce your idea into something powerful that can be expressed in a few words forces the writer to come to terms with what the story is really about. If the idea is too complicated and is difficult to explain or understand, it may never reach the people who make the decision to publish or produce your work.

Mass Commercial Appeal:

High concept books use hooks and compelling plots to give the story wide, mainstream appeal. Commercial fiction often has the ‘wow’ factor. If you can summarize what happens in your novel in a single, succinct sentence, and people ask where they can buy it, you might have a high concept book. Plot and the story drive the story, character choices and actions create drama that propels the reader forward with urgency.

If you aren’t sure if your story is high concept try to categorize your book by comparing it to other books that are similar and are easily defined as high concept.

A great title:

A great title not only tells the audience what the story is about, it reveals the genre. The title prepares us to experience the feelings associated with each type of genre, thrillers, mysteries, love stories, adventures and so on. Each of these different genres propels us towards a unique emotional adventure. A great title can catapult your book into the bestseller spheres.

A Big Problem:

The fourth element is THE big problem to be solved, the reason for the story, and the reason action has to be taken.

An asteroid is about to collide with the earth. A serial killer is loose in the . A baby is left on a doorstep. An invading army has to be confronted and defeated. An erupting volcano has to be escaped from. A man-eating shark has to be destroyed, and so on.

You will know it is a big problem if action has to be taken and taken immediately.

Great stories are about problems and once the writer introduces us to the problem, the problem must be resolved. It is the essences of any story, no matter how big or small, it must be focused on a problem. Every character will somehow be involved in that problem. Everything that happens will in some way affect the outcome of the problem. Revealing how that problem was created and how it will be resolved is the heart and soul of every story.

Of course, you should write what you enjoy reading. Read the classics in your genre, read the most recently released books in your genre so you know what is selling. If you enjoy reading high concept books and decide to attempt writing one, it is imperative that you think big and then write with sweeping, satisfying language. The crux of the matter is a big idea and making sure your idea will appeal to a vast audience of readers is the craft of the writer. Follow with a great title and be sure you introduce a big problem. Including all these elements will help you create a great story, and will help you sell your story on the front and back ends. Selling first to agents and a publisher, and then to booksellers and finally, readers and moviegoers.

Be assured that high concept books are sought after by publishers and readers alike.

Author’s work and plot of the book:

My book, THE THRONE OF DAVID, is a historical mystery and joins works such as the Da Vinci Code or Raiders of the Lost Ark, in unraveling ancient legends. The story follows the history of the throne of David, you might remember that king David was promised that his throne would endure until Christ came to personally reign on the earth. David’s throne has always been joined with a sacred stone and you might be shocked to learn that this throne exists today, hidden in plain sight.

The book is set in New York, London, Ireland and Scotland and is a fictionalized account of the intricacies of this great mystery. Prophecies about the throne abound and my book follows its history through time and across continents. The book ultimately reveals the likely resting place of the coronation stone – symbol of the royal throne of David.

It is a riveting story and it has been one of the great adventures of my life to research, untangle and then write about the royal stone.

I came to writing late, as I was busy raising a family of 10 children and devouring books on the side. Our youngest is now eleven and the stories that have been clamoring for attention these last 25 years are finally going to be given a chance at life.

Ann’s Bio:

AnnHeadshotAnn Farnsworth came to writing late, as she was busy raising a family of 10 children and devouring books on the side. Her youngest is now eleven and the stories that have been clamoring for attention these last 25 years are finally going to be given a chance at life.
If you take Ann Farnsworth’s love of history, her admiration for truly great story tellers and a devotion to precise, descriptive vocabulary. If you add to those interests a true devotion to memorable characters it seems as if her book, ‘The Throne of David’, is almost an inevitable work of creation.

 

Farley’s Farley: Busted

Farley here,

Last week we had a four year old boy visit our house. Did you know four year old humans are shorter than regular humans? Much shorter than the humans I’m used to.

This little boy needed a pillow on the chair to boost him up, otherwise he couldn’t reach his food. Kristina went to the living room and fetched (ha ha – I said fetched for a human) one of the fancy living room pillows for the boy.

After everyone went to bed, I snuck downstairs, crept under the table, and with my teeth, slid the soft pillow off the dining room chair and onto the floor.

Wow, did I have a good night’s sleep.

Farley on pillow

However, Kristina – my tall human – was a bit quiet and I didn’t hear her get up in the morning.

Busted! She caught me sleeping on the pillow.

What’s a dog to do except run to her, wag his tail, give her a big lick, and look as cute as possible.

What did Kristina do? She leaned down, gave me a hug and a cookie, and said, “No sleeping on my good pillows.”  Yup, that’s going to keep me from stealing pillows in the future.

Woof Woof.